Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed...– Unknown (via areyouhappyenough)
math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
history test: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs
literature test: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"
physics tests: The aliens ate 3.4 doughnuts. Their crumbs fell to the Earth because of gravity. Calculate how many penguins are eating pancakes at the speed of light.
[Some years ago, a child was asked whether he liked radio or television best.]...– Jack Gilbert, from “A Man in Black and White” (via the-final-sentence)
Avengers pick up lines:
Steve: Are you from the 1940s? Because I'd really love to have a future with you.
Thor: I will make sure that you are "Thor in the morning".
Clint: I always hit the bullseye...ifyouknowwhatimean.
Bruce: They don't call me incredible for nothing, hehe.
Tony: Hi, I'm Tony Stark.
I will keep the color of your eyes when no other in the world remembers your...– The Last Unicorn, Peter S. Beagle (via echristineposts)
tomyhusband: I take longer to get ready. Therefore, I take the first shower. This is simple but important math. If you interrupt this order without warning, you run the risk of throwing the entire universe out of alignment.
It’s the oldest story in the world. One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for...– Nathan Scott (via magicmanula)
I will build a home on the feeling of your skin pressed tight against mine.– Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson (via tylerknott)
If we do Memorial Day Weekend right,
tomyhusband: we won’t remember a thing.